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- names have been redacted
- the entire scandal that motivated the below has already been satisfactorily resolved, which satisfaction — not an interest in bitching — motivated my writing in the first place
I was having a bad weekend; gossip was being unkind to the production; I lashed out:
From: Jonathan E Cowperthwait <jec@cxxxxxxxxxxx.com>
Date: Mon, 16 May 2005 03:07:43 -0500
To: Crime Fiction <fl-producers@lxxxxxxx.edu>
Subject: Loose lips, cont'd
Last night I held a conversation with a Fire Escape colleague who wanted to know why because of my insistence upon "raising $100,000" we were "firing" her from her volunteer assistance on the project.
1: Wow. Where did the extra $70,000 come from?
2: Next time I'm insisting upon firing someone, can I hear about it, first?
And:
Today I received a telephone call from a member of this production team asking me if in fact we were pulling the plug on this project, since, based on the talk he'd overheard, that's what it sounded like we were doing.
I was just about to punch my fist through a plate glass window when I had to use it, instead, to type a response to an instant message from another Fire Escape colleague asking the very same question. Oh, man. Sucks you're killing your movie. What happened? (It turned out, see, earlier in the day he'd been talking to [Fire Escape Committee member name here] who said that he'd talked to [another Fire Escape Committee member name here] about this, who heard from the guy who cuts her hair that this guy in Phoenix said that someone told him...)
Less than a week ago I was making assurances to these same people that the gossip in U.T. circles about a potential fundraising deal wasn't leaked by us even though its details bore a superficial resemblance to those of a deal we had in fact been discussing just one day earlier. Now, I face an uphill battle trying to convince them that we're not a bunch of irresponsible flapjaws or, worse, dissent-riddled histrionics beset by subversive moles.
I don't wish to bore or insult by repeating my previous importunements, but -- I'll do so anyway: I hope you finish reading this e-mail both bored and insulted.
Please, friends. Think carefully. Recall every conversation you've had about this project with others, and realize that one of them, or the sum of all of them, generated the present circumstances.
If you harbor doubts about whether this project will get off the ground, join the club -- we're first-time professional filmmakers, this is an undertaking that's necessarily high-risk, and we're all beset by the classic Hyde Park conflation of self-deprecation and depth. However: these doubts have an appropriate forum, which is in conversation with your mentors, trusted friends, and us, your colleagues.
A hardly exhaustive list of inappropriate forums includes a discussion of our project's challenges, pitfalls, and (perceived) shortcomings with those external to the project, or even those who will be involved in the project but do not have the opportunity to perceive its entirety. I'm not advocating hubris, let alone fibbing -- with all appropriate modesty, I think I deserve a goddamn disclaimer-writin' cookie -- just requesting you don't do the project the disservice of turning your doubts into self-fulfilling prophesy.
Because of the nature of gossip, pretty much any information about our project will be distorted in its recirculation. So, circulating only the appropriate information in the first place is the only hope we've got for coming out of this alive. With no formal authority beyond being someone with a belief and stake in this project's success, let me propose that such appropriate information probably runs along these lines:We wanted to shoot a feature-length script. When we assembled a group and brainstormed how to do this well, we realized we needed more -- in the way of financial resources, insurance protection, and organizational structure -- than shooting in-house would allow, so we're setting up an independent film. We're still trying to figure out what the indie structure will be, but it will probably be a for-profit, though there are a couple of different not-for-profit structures we're still looking at. Regardless of this structure, the project is looking for outside funding from sources who realize that first-time independent films don't always make money. We've had some luck so far, and we're in the process of raising more. We were hoping to get some money from the University, too, but that isn't working out. Fortunately, we already have arrangements to make the project no matter what, so we're just trying to raise more money to increase its production values. We're also pretty busy lining up other details of the project, one of which is getting a good camera deal -- we'll see about that.
Enough said.I regretted this as soon as I sent it. While proud of myself for some quality Cowperthwaitian rhetorical flourish ("dissent-riddled histrionics beset by subversive moles"? gold!) I knew that outbursts have had a tendency to make conversations more difficult, not less, and the source of my frustration was, in fact, a genuinely interrogative (vs. rhetorical) "What the fuck?", the kind of question whose answer becomes more elusive, not less, when people get pissed off at one another.
I went to bed dreading the next morning's inbox of fallout. Imagine my surprise to find a measured response in its place...
From: <bxxxxxxxxxx@gxxxxxxx.com>
Date: Mon, 16 May 2005 08:52:37 -0500
To: Crime Fiction <fl-producers@lxxxxxxx.edu>
Subject: [FL] Meeting on Tuesday
On all the gossip/production ending front: these things are usually
what you make of them. Jon's right in that we obviously just need to
close rank and get on with it. Let's get some perspective here: this
production is going better and reacher further than any of us thought
possible two months ago. I think we all at least agree on that point.
Part of the reason it has gone so far so fast is that we all have (a)
egos and (b) a lot of personal pride specifically in Crime Fiction.
This can sometimes cause conflict, but conflict is not always a bad
thing. I never understood why bands claimed to break up over
"creative differences" - I always thought creative differences were
what drove bands to be great in the first place. Actually, they break
up over drugs or money or sex. That's interpersonal difference, not
creative (I suppose the two are linked, but you know what I'm trying
to say).
OK, so I just woke up and I'm rambling but, in conclusion, let's just
all calm down and focus on the important issues. No one is trying to
sink the project. No one on the production team wants to see us fail.
We ALL want Crime Fiction to kick the ass of every other movie ever
made in the history of mankind.
See you on Tuesday,
--------------------
Fictional Life / Crime Fiction / Criminally Existentialist Fiction
not a student film
from
Fire Escape Films
http://fictionallife.fireescapefilms.coWow. Way to deflate my goddamn sail. What kind of spirited flamewar can I have now? What am I supposed to do with all this extra time and attention I'd set aside for one — make a... movie?
FOLLOWUP
11:17A
ha. of course not. I proposed two crew tee shirts, instead.
